I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
no need to worry, I have the internet and a cape, I can accomplish anything. nothing can go wrong, I am unstoppable. Yo.
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
P.s. There are few things I love more than brand new mascara and you are one of them.
Randomize
