he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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