it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Just realized I'm going to have to make you sign a non-disclosure agreement before my wedding.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Randomize
