I hope mine doesn't look like that
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
You okay? Last night you climbed through my window and demanded I take shots with you and when I refused you took a piss in my front yard.
that's your fault. you refused to take shots with me.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
