I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
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