I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
Turns out you're obligated under man law to share any passwords you may have for porno sites
Is that what they're teaching u at that bar review class?
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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