Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
Randomize
