Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Randomize
