If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
Randomize
