Porn is love you can see.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
Randomize
