Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Seriously how many times do I have to sleep with him before he stops calling me dude
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
I'm in the middle no shirt white shorts humping the white dustbuster next to the guy shooting off the tazer infront of the two guys humping on the bicycle
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Omg worst high ever. I'm watching Parks and Rec, and all i can think about is how andy, leslie, and tom are my closest friends. Forever alone.
Randomize
