I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
Randomize
