how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just lifted up my shirt to scratch my stomach n a Dorito flew out of my pullover n it legit scared me when it hit me.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
