I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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