sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
i had to sit with a fan pointed directly to my vag for a good 10 minutes
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Just pee around me
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
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