ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Oh and apparently something happened that was related to "THIS IS SPARTA" but no one will tell me what I did.
So I'm going to blame my boobs hurting on that.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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