I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So apparently vaginal secretions are not covered under water damage insurance for my cell phone
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
Let's be honest, college orientation is going to be "here's how to drink everclear"
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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