No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
did u drive by my house last night?
bc if that wasn't you i threw my bourbon bottle at the wrong van
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
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