I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just found the video that explains the neighborhood applause. Your landlord is awesome, and the clothes are on the roof
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
It says a lot about how well I know you when I can understand messages of yours that say things like "sauteed Jesus."
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
