It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I guess we had a small kitchen fire somehow when we decided to bake fruitroll ups and croutons...
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Isn't it my whole life blown into this perfect spoon shaped piece of melted and artificially colored sand?
Wow.
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
