he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Currently separating the burrito I just stuffed in my purse from the weed in my half smoken bowl that was already in it. My what the fuck moment beats yours.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
The problem is that you are trying to hold on to some dignity. Let it go. I hope your rash gets better.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
You know its a good morning when you wake up with blonde hair extensions in your pocket. . .
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Aw. You're having cute FaceTime with your fiance, I'm trying to convince myself not to booty call a 42 year old. #adulting
Randomize
