he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My night consisted of weed, sex, and Mexican food. In that order. I think we found the keys to saving our marriage.
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
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