is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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