Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
Well we can cross off dogs, dating sites, and real life as ways to help you meet a chick.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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