they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
We fucked like animals on that lion king beanbag chair that your mom got you for your 10th bday
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
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