I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
I would fuck him just for his dog
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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