i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
he told me he had a gf and in the very next sentence asked if I wanted to have sex.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
