let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
Yes, but it's not new to me. It's like every time a new guy finds out I'm a squirter it's a novelty so they make me squirt and squirt and squirt until their bed is completely soaked. And then afterwards they complain that there isn't a dry bit to sleep on. No shit Sherlock.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
