thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
My mom's crying. That means it must be Christmas.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
