it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
I was thinking that, but I'm not sure the proper etiquette on asking about someone's nipple rings. Even if you did see them and compliment them once.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
