Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
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