I actually told the people in the movie theatre to give me a cup and I would dip water from the toilet before I paid $4.50 for a bottle of water.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
i seriously haven't spoken to him since i drunk dialed him and told him i loved his beard
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
