DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Randomize
