it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Seeing someone hit Themselves in the balls with someone else's hand is amazing. I love being the sober one
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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