; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Is using La Croix as a mixer for vodka a legit way to reach my daily water consumption?
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
