Hey it's Austin.
I am not drunk enough for this conversation.
You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
He was sitting on the bathroom floor, swirling his finger in the toilet singing the Laguna Beach theme song. I don't know whether to laugh or help him.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I think after 8 tries we can say Stoli Thursdays cause too much damage.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
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