If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I think I just danced on the bar. With a man named Alabama.
Thank you for turning 21. I'm going to love reading your texts.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
