Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
I am not being the messenger for your booty call.
I spoon fed you cheerios when you were black out drunk. You owe me one.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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