wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
We're going to shave my junk and take pictures of it wearing fake mustaches we found at the dollar store. They're uncannily realistic; much better than the cockstaches of my youth.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
