Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Randomize
