i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
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