I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
4pm on a Sunday....roomate fucking like a wildabeast while I have a organic chemistry study group in my kitchen.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Phone sex soon? I mean date. Sex date. Date phone.
all 3? possibly?
I think I'm up to the challenge.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
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