u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
