If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
My cousin just told me i smelled good. She must like the smell of cum.
whore
Haha. We better find him. He looked like he came out of Switzerland's vagina, he's that much of a blonde beauty.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
