I think I am morally bankrupt
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
He has pizza coupons and a hammer next to his toilet.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Uhmm, it's called hentai.
I DON'T CARE WHAT IT'S CALLED I DON'T WANT TO SEE IT ON MY WORK COMPUTER
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
