Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
Matt and I's climactic adventure has ended with Matt being hauled off to jail. And now his brother and I are having lunch and a beer.
You can't just snapchat me a picture of a pregnancy test and then not answer your phone
I feel like I'm pretty optimistic for a girl that might be pregnant.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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