fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
I would do laundry with you but I vaguely remember swallowing all my quarters last night as some kind of trick.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
