i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
no. you can't hotbox the world.
why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
Randomize
