I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
Awww. A guy on the train just took his coat off so his girlfriend could throw up into it. Who says chivalry is dead?
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
