we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
