I texted him about a book we both like. I was expecting a "ya great book... let's bone" response. It didn't work
Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
he's only going to be home for two days, his dick is going to be in me for the whole 48 hours, he doesnt have a choice.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
I spent $31 at mcdonalds last night. Threw my nuggets all over the yard, ate them out of the snow, picked a fight about it, vomited, then passed out.
Naked.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
Randomize
